I want to scale the utmost height,
And catch a gleam of glory bright;
But still I'll pray, till Heaven I've found,
"Lord, lead me on to higher ground!"
-Hymn, "Higher Ground"
First, let me talk about how my first week back at school went! It was a good week that began with the stressful realization that it is going to be an even busier, bigger semester and slowly settled into a sense of normal. I think my body is still adjusting to the four-hour time difference and my early wake-up time during the school week, but I’m getting there! There was no JAMM this week or UAS classes, so that helped the transition back into teaching and lesson plans. Some exciting progressions are happening this semester: one is that Sophia and I officially have our own orchestras at Thunder Mountain! We did the split on Tuesday, with me taking 20 of the intermediate string players and Sophia taking the advanced ones. Tyree decided the groups and repertoire ahead of time so that we were ready to go on Tuesday! I guided my orchestra into the orchestra room that morning and gave them a talk I had been running through my mind all through break (when I was actually thinking about work!): I talked about how being in an orchestra is the same as being part of a community or a family; we work together to make something great. I shared with these 9th-12th graders how excited I am to go on this journey with them as I learn how to conduct an orchestra and they progress as musicians. This is going to be such a great way to differentiate learning locations and cater to students’ abilities in the Thunder Mountain orchestra because there is a rather large gap in playing ability between the two groups, which is dependent upon the amount of music education they had prior to high school, their age, and their access to private lessons. This way, all players can feel successful and work on the skills they are ready to learn. And it was a great first week of rehearsal! We got through all four pieces they will be working on this semester, which include St. Anthony Chorale; Plink, Plank, Plunk; and two fantasia pieces.
I am also stepping up in the Spanish classroom and after Finals next week, it’s all me! I will be leading the class through their third unit in a Spanish curriculum Tyree uses and I greatly support. It is all focused on teaching students how to speak Spanish through hearing and telling stories instead of memorizing lists and lists of vocabulary. There are key vocabulary words students will know by the end of the unit, but they will also be able to speak and write paragraphs that tell stories. I have also been teaching them a short unit on commands the past week, which has been super fun! The curriculum Tyree uses for that starts out fairly normal and expected (“Stand up”, “Walk”, “Sit down”) and progresses to “Touch your shoulder with your ear” or “Walk on your hands and smile” (which two of our students actually DID!). We have also begun conducting the entire class in Spanish so they get used to using context clues to figure out what we are saying. It’s definitely a push for me, as I haven’t spoken Spanish on a regular basis since Peru two summers ago! Some days I honestly feel incapable of teaching Spanish because I am definitely not fluent or an expert at it. But after being such an expert at music education content, it’s a good push for me to know what it looks like to learn as I teach. I just really want to make sure these students are getting a quality education! I am learning that that is such an intimidating thing about being a teacher- realizing that what you do every day in the classroom affects kids’ quality of education. But all I can do is try my best and continue to grow! It is neat to think that as the students grow and learn, I do as well.
Some other big things happening this semester include: I am taking a research class as my main course at UAS this semester and will learn how to write a grant by actually writing one for JAMM! I will also be co-teaching a songwriting unit after school at JAMM with Sophia and an improvisation class the other hour after school with Lindsay! My big unit plan on jazz will also be happening this semester (from early March to late April!). I will also be traveling to MusicFest in Ketchikan in April with my Thunder Mountain Orchestra to perform as part of solo and ensemble. My parents will be visiting this Spring, as will a friend from Chicago! :) Performances, including a big one at FolkFest, will come and go. Juneau Symphony rehearsals start next week, which I am both excited and nervous for! I am nervous to see how my shoulder does, now that I have gone to physical therapy 4 or 5 times and have been playing a little bit and haven’t been in pain! I will definitely take it easy and take care of myself. I do all my shoulder stretches for 20 minutes each morning, which really helps me stay focused on using my back shoulder muscles more and standing up straighter.
So a lot of exciting things will happen that will keep me very busy! I would like to dedicate the rest of the post to talk about my feelings (eww gross!) and the current state of my soul (whoa deep). So, be warned! Some of that cheesy “New Year's’ Resolution” stuff may be mentioned…
When people ask about my break, a sinking feeling immediately develops in my stomach. It was a great break in many ways: I spent wonderful time with my beloved family and really rested without even thinking about the stressful realities of my life back in Alaska. I even grew to miss Alaska and yearned to be back amongst the mountains and trails and kind people. It made me think that maybe Alaska could be my new home, which I did not seriously consider until I was away from it for a while. But because being home allows me to slow down, it gives me time to step back and seriously think and pray about other parts of my life I had no time to reflect on during school. And that led to some difficult but healthy changes.
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| Abby makes every selfie cuter! |
Starting with the positive, there are some big highlights from spending the break with my family that run through my mind like a movie: making tons and tons of cookies with my dad in my parents’ beautiful, new kitchen (this is really the first time my dad and I had cooked together, so it was both extremely special and entertaining when things did not turn out as delicious as we expected), playing peek-a-boo with my adorable 7 month-old niece, Abby, going shopping and to the movies with my sisters, watching Alaskan Bush People with my dad, looking up the controversies associated with the Alaskan Bush People while my dad and I watched Alaskan Bush People, celebrating Christmas with Rachel and her husband and my parents, having family dinners where both of my sisters and their husbands are together with my parents and me, celebrating my mom’s 50th birthday and revealing to her that she and my dad are going on an Alaskan cruise this summer (and hopefully I will still be here to welcome them to Juneau!!), singing “Silent Night” while holding hands with my mom and watching my dad continue singing as another part of his candle miraculously and disturbingly caught fire and poured wax all over his fingers, making friends on the flight back as I got rerouted to Anchorage due to freaky difficulties with the wing. There are even more that pop up in my mind. It was really a wonderful time, and I had no difficulty just relaxing and enjoying time with my family!
The sinking feeling in my stomach comes from two things: the first is because of the nostalgia and sadness that I might not be able to be with my whole family until next Christmas, if all plans align. Knowing that I had no plans of a return flight at this point when I left was difficult! But at the same time, I am so grateful for the time we had together and know that my family remains super close, even though we are spread out across Alaska, Michigan, and south Georgia; we will definitely be together soon. The other weight in my gut comes from the decision I made to walk away from a long-term relationship with which I had been involved. I do not want to get into details about why or anything; it is not as important to know what happened as it is to know how that has shown a remarkable amount of growth in me. This decision really showed me that I am in a healthy place where I am ready to take care of myself and look forward, focusing on how I can grow and make my life into a beautiful garden. I do not like admitting it, but I have not enjoyed being alone in the past; I think a big contributing factor with that is because I am a twin and had someone by my side every day until I was 18! But now I feel ready to be on my own, completely standing on my own. Of course I always have my wonderful family and friends, but this is just different. I feel comfortable being by myself and actually look forward to spending time by myself in the evenings or on the weekends! I am also greatly enjoying the time with God I have been having this past week. I fully believe and know that this is what He wants for me. It became very clear to me over break. And I know it is all out of love for me. I have been leaning into that love and provision, reminding myself of how Jesus is my daily nourishment. As a teacher who often does not have time to drink water or use the restroom the entire school day, the idea of Jesus being my sustaining water means a lot to me!
I took myself on a nice, long walk this morning on the flume trail in the sleet and felt reminded of how His presence is always there. Because it rains constantly in Juneau, I have chosen to turn it into a positive thing, telling myself that the rain and snow remind me of Jesus’ presence and love, washing over me, as I walk! It helps a lot! HA! I am finally enjoying and am protecting time by myself and with God, and it feels so good. And I know he has beautiful things in store for me in that area of my life- an area I care very deeply about. It gives me such peace, which is great because it can also be a source of great anxiety for me! I went to a new Bible study this past week (which is one of my resolutions this year, on top of having daily quiet times), and the message was on Philippians 4:7. That verse has always struck a chord with me! It talks about lifting up all anxieties to God because the reality is, no matter how much we resolve not to worry, we do. That can’t always change. But what we do with it does. We can choose to give those worries up to God by naming them, talk to Him about them, ask for Him to guide us and give us peace in those areas, and then thank Him for all He has done and will do in our lives.
The pastor used an amazing, very relevant image with this passage that is engraved in my mind, and I will leave you with this:
Life is like the journey of climbing a mountain. We are constantly going up hills and watching our step through the slopes. But Jesus is there the entire time, being our mountain guide. But often, He will ask us to step off the wide, forged trail and continue to follow Him. Do I go with Him, rely on myself, or follow others? I don’t always follow Him, but I really want to at this point in my life. And you know how I know that I can trust Him to be my guide? Because He has great reviews from so many other hikers!!! And He has an entire review written about Him in a very large book that I thankfully have access to and can read any time I question the path on which He is taking me. So as I begin this new semester as a more independent hiker with a lot of anticipated turns and slopes away from the path, I know that I can make it higher up the mountain and closer to Heaven.
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