I was in my third trimester of pregnancy with Ethan when the COVID shutdown occurred. It was the end of March, and I was stressing so much about working to the end of my pregnancy again. I remembered how difficult it was with Emma, and I dreaded having to do that while taking care of a toddler, while finishing my first year in a new position with a lot more performance responsibilities, and while my husband was working on his Master’s degree online and was entering his extremely involved soccer season.
And then, I suddenly went from standing on the edge of my busiest time of life to the most schedule-emptied, family-filled season I have ever experienced.
JB and I met in a season where we thought we were busy, but it only escalated from there. Man, for a person who hates the word “busy”, I sure use it a lot….
I’m not going to spend a lot of time talking about the specifics of COVID. But I will share about how it changed things for my family. And I recognize that for a lot of people and families, COVID has brought great destruction, stress, financial ruin, and devastation to people. I see you, I love you, and I’m praying for you.
There have been some very hard moments, decisions, conversations, and situations because of COVID for me. There has also been a lot of growth and deepening of my relationships, especially my relationship with Jesus. I will have a whole separate post about those reflections.
God taught me a lot and strengthened me a lot through the end of my pregnancy while in a pandemic. Sweet Ethan Michael was born in June 2, 2020. I was induced again at 39 weeks, and the delivery went smoothly. Way faster than Emma’s! But I did end up back in the hospital with preeclampsia a few days after we came home. It was scary and devastating. I bawled as I checked my blood pressure and saw it was 171/97. I held Ethan and just sobbed. Emma was asleep, and we called JB’s sweet mom over to stay with the kids as JB drove me to our nearest hospital. As I let go of Ethan, unsure of how long it would be before I could see him due to COVID restrictions- stressing about how he will eat when I had been breastfeeding him- I felt my heart break. But as soon as I walked into the ER (the same one I had stumbled into a year and a half before with mastitis), I felt a wave of peace. God was with me. He had used this same hospital in the past to bring me healing, and He would do the same now. I just felt it.
As soon as I checked in, God gave me more gentle reminders that He was with me. Each nurse that I interacted with had a name that was special to me – one was even named Ruth! We joked about how we only meet old ladies with our names these days as she put in my IV. They were all so kind and loving. Throughout giving birth and JB‘s surgeries and my hospitalization, I am 100% certain that nurses are the hands and feet of Jesus. No doubt.
Once the OB came in, she reassured me that JB and Ethan could come and be with me for the couple days that I would need to have the magnesium sulfate treatment for my blood pressure. I felt a huge wave of relief and joy when I heard that; nothing else mattered. I would be reunited with my son who I had just carried for nearly a year, and my daughter was in good hands with my mother-in-law.
My doctor showed her commitment to my care in her own quirky way, wheeling me from the ER to the mother-baby unit herself so that I wouldn’t have to wait in the ER for hours. There were lots of rough turns and a couple bumps along the way, and she kept saying, “Excuse me for my poor driving; I need a license to operate this thing”. Moments like that throughout those next two days as my vision blurred, my headaches were all-consuming, and I was helplessly bedridden brought me so much joy and peace. JB took amazing care of me, and Ethan was such a comfort to me as he snoozed on my chest.
We returned home and could finally be a family of four. I was nervous about my blood pressure for the first few months after recovery, but I remained on medicine and my body adjusted well. It was a defining time because of that experience, but also because of the sweet new life that we brought into our home. All of a sudden, our toddler was a big sister, and we had a sweet baby boy. A lot of things felt much easier this time around; some things felt harder. It’s funny how now after having two kids, one kid feels like a breeze…!!! I have learned much more about motherhood, my identity, clinging to Jesus in the exhaustion than ever before.
But that’s for another day. :)
During all of this, I was teaching orchestra from home…which was a huge adjustment, but there has been a lot of sweetness and a LOT of learning from it. I love using technology as a music teacher, I love that I’ve been able to get to know my students better, and I love wearing sweatpants…so it hasn’t been all bad! 😂 I have also had time- time to do laundry, time with my kids instead of being on the road, time at the end of the day where I have more to give to my family because I have not been on my feet all day. There have been many blessings for us, although I know that’s not the case for all.
So wow, that catches us up to now! A few weeks ago, JB had another (much less invasive) surgery on his knee after his ACL surgery caused some issues. It was a huge success! And now I am weeks away from finishing up my third quarter of online orchestra. I’m also weeks away from seeing my family for the first time in 18 months!
I am absolutely blown away by all that God has done- all that He has given me, all the change He has been faithfully walking with me through, all the lessons I’ve learned.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. 🥰 I am so excited to delve into specific topics or moments in my future posts!
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